I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
