I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
