rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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