She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
