The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
