So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
