I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
