If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
