she looked like the before picture.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
