i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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