sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
