you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
