We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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