No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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