I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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