I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize