Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I cut my penus on the lid.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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