so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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