You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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