Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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