Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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