did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
