batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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