Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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