Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
