; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
