Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
