Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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