No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize