just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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