He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Who died my cat blue again?
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