How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
