She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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