And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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