Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

return my video game

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(269): View more from Michigan

I'm on that like soy sauce on rice

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(850): View more from Florida

best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep

(732): View more from New Jersey

sorry. that wasn't for you

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(518): View more from New York

and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card

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(319): View more from Iowa

should my penis look like a turkey

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(276): View more from Virginia

I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem

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(540): View more from Virginia

So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol

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