Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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