Kiss
Puke
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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