I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
