Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
