My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
