some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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