Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
