sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize