the day after is always just damage control
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
