Banned from zoo.
Again?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I am naked and annoyed.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
