Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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