hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize