How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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