Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Drunk is a universal language darling
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
