I wish I could teleport
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
where are my eyebrows?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
