some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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