she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
