Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize