i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize