Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
