the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize