Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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