Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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