we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
