Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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