There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
