For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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