When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize